March 2nd 2012

Today is a pinnacle day for me.

Someone near and dear to me is going under surgery today for tumors. She is on my mind non-stop.

The wake of such a nice lady that came to my Housewarming. My prayers are with her dear husband.

And I, will be tested. I need to put aside my rage and my anger, to present who I am. Which, I think, is a useful and contributing citizen. There’s always someone else better than you, in some way or another. But at the end of the day, no one can be you. And I think I’ve proven myself time and time again. Well, at least I hope I have.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m even a good person. As in, if I died today, will Peter send me to hell?

I’m a very blessed young woman. But there’s this black hole in my soul, and I’m not sure how to fill it.

Today, I hope, is the start of me coloring it in.

-AN

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